If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize