and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
