im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
