come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize