she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
