The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
