:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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