when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
