glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
