I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
