I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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