Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
