miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
