Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
