You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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