Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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