I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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