you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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