I'm gonna have a badass scar
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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