so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
is this the sara with the beer cane?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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