I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You can't motorboat a personality
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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