i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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