the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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