It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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