wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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