You're so nebulous sometimes
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
