forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
