its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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