At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
we're making bets on your personal life
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
