So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize