I cockslap morals
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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