So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
