i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
