I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
