I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
