btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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