Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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