the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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