sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Can I color on your dick again?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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