Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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