Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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