He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
We need to get me chipped asap
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
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