Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
