Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
