butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Randomize
