i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
