"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
