out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
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