I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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