Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
