Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize