i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
zippers are such a cool invention
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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