even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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