I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize