Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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