how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
This is the high leading the old right now
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize