this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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