He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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