Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
