We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
