Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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