she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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