well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
She announced her abortion via fbk
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
