How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize