I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Randomize
