Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
don't judge my taste in strippers
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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