We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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