redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
