Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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