thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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