why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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