I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
